dorks
by Shante Diamond
Summary: Random sexual exploits featuring Konoha's most innocent couple. (Set some time after The Last, but before the wedding.) [NaruHina]
1. I

Apparently I write NH smut out of character, and I try to emulate the author of _50 Shades of Grey_. (I never read nor watched _50 Shades of Grey_, but whatever.) **Oh**! And my stories (and **NaruHina Smut Month**) are ruining the innocence and purity of the NH relationship because Naruto and Hinata are too "clueless and dorky" to engage in hot sex. Well this is going to be my first attempt at writing dorky NH smut!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Naruto_ nor am I affiliated with the series. The series belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Studio Pierrot and VIZ Media. I don't work for those companies; I write for fun and for free.

**Synopsis:** Random sexual exploits featuring Konoha's most innocent couple. (Set some time after _The Last_, but before the wedding.)

**Rated MA:** for crude, perverse humor, bondage and blindfolding, oral and vaginal sex. Of course if you're reading this on FFnet then the story's edited because of the site's rules. Click on the links in my profile for the unedited version.

* * *

Hinata: My darling, Naruto. Your pureness has impregnated my belly.

Naruto: My princess, Hinata. My spiritual seed has fertilized your ethereal egg.

_*their eyes weirdly flutters, strange elevator music plays in the background and hearts are flying around their heads and shit*_

There. I hope you all enjoyed my dorky NH smut fic! Thank you and goodnight!

* * *

**dorks. **

"_I know them haters talkin' always had us very weary_._"_ – **Kanye West**

Limbs intertwined, bare torsos touching, perspired, damp skin sticking, and two hearts synchronized underneath orange sheets. It was nighttime and the bedroom was dark with the bright light from the television as the exception, casting a warm glow over the pair of lovers.

Hinata Hyuga lay atop her boyfriend's body, cradled her head in the crook of his neck and calmed her heavy breathing. They just finished another round of lovemaking and both young adults were depleted of their energy.

Joining their fingers together to kiss her knuckles, Naruto Uzumaki grinned as his ocean eyes focused on an imaginary spot on his ceiling. "Like always, you're amazing Hinata! Y'know?"

"And you were wonderful, Naruto." The brunette paused before giggling, "Like always."

Pinning his laughing girlfriend beneath him, Naruto jokingly asked, "Oh? Is something funny, Hinata?"

Unable to contain her guffaws, Hinata's cheeks flushed red before she responded with shake of her head and a humored, "No."

"_Well_… if nothing's funny and everything's _fine_…" Naruto drawled as he hooked his arms underneath her legs to pull her body down, aligning their pelvises. "Let's go for round three!"

"_Naruto_…!" the soft-spoken woman incredulously stressed while looking into his mischievous eyes and laughing harder as he wiggled his thick, blond brows. "I still haven't recovered from round two! You have to give me a moment to compose myself."

Playfully sulking as he rolled off her, the village's hero sat against his pillow, crossed his arms over his chest and relented. "Alright Hinata. But once you're ready, we're doing it again."

Concealing her gentle smile with a graceful, pale palm, Hinata merely nodded. She too, adjusted her body to sit next to his while resting her head against his shoulder. Together the couple watched television, not really paying attention to what was on until a bizarre commercial came up and the sound of a woman's voice resounded in the room.

**Is your sex life boring and predictable**?

Naruto and Hinata looked at each other with wide eyes before centering on the television again.

**Would you like to spice up your bedroom antics**?

"Our sex life is fine, isn't it…? Naruto…?" Hinata worriedly asked.

"_Pfft_! Of course it is, Hinata!" Naruto huffed with a roll of his eyes. "This commercial's stupid. Don't pay it any attention, ok?"

Nodding in agreement, the brunette replied, "Ok."

**We can make it happen for you**. **We can turn your bedroom into a sexual paradise with only one phone call**.

The twosome faced the television again.

**Call us now to receive our standard Makeout Paradise kit**. **Our kit includes one Makeout Paradise instruction booklet with vivid pictures in color**, **a silk blindfold and silk scarf**_, _**a can of our homemade whipped cream featuring our secret recipe**, **six condoms and a feather**. **You can also order our King Size Makeout Paradise kit which includes our instruction video featuring adult stars acting out the positions in the instruction manual**, **furry handcuffs**, **two cans of whipped cream**, **twelve condoms and two feathers**.

Both Hinata and Naruto visibly sweat-dropped.

**We here at Makeout Paradise promise to give you the best sex of your life**—**guaranteed**. **If dissatisfied for any reason**, **we'll happily send you another kit on us**. **No questions asked**. **Call us at 1**-**900**-**55**-**IMHRNY**. **If you call within the next ten minutes**, **you can receive our standard kit for fifty**-**percent off**. **Originally priced at forty**-**nine ninety**-**nine**, **you'll get it for only twenty**-**four ninety-nine**. **Call now while supplies last**. **Your information is always anonymous**. **We package**, **ship and deliver quickly and discreetly**. **And remember**—**why settle for mediocrity when you can bask in paradise**?

The commercial ended as quickly as it came on and the young couple's faces were as red as bricks with awkwardness. The atmosphere was stifling and many thoughts rampantly sprinted through their minds about what they just saw.

"An instruction manual?"

Hinata was the first to break the ice.

Turning his head towards his girlfriend with blinking eyes, Naruto asked, "Are you curious about that kit, Hinata?"

"**NO**! **OH NO**, **NARUTO**!" the brunette denied vehemently while waving her hands in front of her like armor, shielding herself from her boyfriend's question. "I'm not curious about it at all! We're fine! Our sex life is fine! There's nothing wrong! I was simply thinking out loud!"

Nervously gulping while gathering the courage to prepare for his next question, Naruto rubbed his clammy hands on his sheets before asking. "So… you're not interested in trying new things with me?"

"I… I…" Hinata's lips moved, but she could no longer speak. Cognitive thought eluded her mind. She was always satisfied with their lovemaking and never thought about 'spicing things up' in the bedroom. But her mind wondered what could possibly be in the instruction manual. There was an actual training manual for sex? How could she admit to her boyfriend, the man she's loved since childhood that the Makeout Paradise commercial kindled a sexual curiosity within her she didn't know existed? So she decided to do the next best thing—and she hated to do it but it was necessary. She lied.

Giving Naruto a brilliant, honeyed smile, Hinata told him, "You know I like sweet things. And twenty-four ninety-nine for whipped cream? You can't beat that price."

Nodding slowly as he digested his girlfriend's words, Naruto agreed. "Yeah. That's a great deal for… whipped cream." The pair locked their eyes on his cell phone resting on the nightstand. Again they looked at each other before diving for the mobile device.

"Ah ha! Got it!" Naruto cheered, holding the phone in high in the air, out of Hinata's reach.

"No fair!" Hinata pouted with a cute puff of her cheeks. "Your arms are longer than mine so you have a farther reach!"

"Excuses, excuses, Love." The blond gave his girlfriend a quick peck on her forehead before standing up from the bed. "And you're a terrible liar." His comment made Hinata grin. He dialed the Makeout Paradise number while giving Hinata a flirtatious wink.

Even though she's seen him naked plenty of times, Hinata always blushed shyly each time she stared at Naruto's physique. He was tall, handsome, no body fat, and just pure, lean muscle. And he was hers. All hers.

Reaching past the nightstand, Hinata pulled the cord on the lamp to illuminate the room. Listening as the village's hero ordered the standard kit, her lavender eyes nearly bugged from their sockets when she heard him almost give the operator his name.

"Na—"

Scrambling out of the bed to snatch the phone away from him, Hinata covered the mouthpiece and whispered, "Give a false name. Just in case."

"Oh right. That's a good idea." Naruto nodded, giving her a swift kiss on the lips before retrieving his phone to speak with the operator again. "My name you ask? It's Kakashi Hatake." He completed the phone call and they burst out laughing. "The package'll be here in a few days," he told her with a bright smile.

"If the Sixth finds out, he's going to get you good, Naruto." Hinata told him with a cheerful smile and tears of mirth in her eyes.

"I'll worry about that later, Love. But," the blond effortlessly hoisted his girlfriend in the air and teasingly slammed her on his bed. "I'm gonna get you now."

* * *

_The next morning_; _Naruto's shower_…

"_Ugh_! _N_-_Naru_-_to_… _Oh __**god**_!" Hinata's nails left scarlet trails against his back, along with the warm shower water sluicing down his tan skin. She locked her ankles around his lower back, shut her eyes and tossed her head against the tiled shower wall in pure bliss. "So good… so _good_!"

Naruto's rapid, firm thrusts deep inside his girlfriend never relented. He felt her inner, wet muscles tightening around his dick, clenching it with the strong grip of a vice. Intensely her core pulled him in, securing their bodies together, melding them.

Inside the shower was hot; the steam from the shower spray only intensified the burning heat between the two lovers. Hinata clawed and pulled her boyfriend's short hair, crying out his name. "_Naruto_…!"

Naruto came immediately after, pouring life into her womb. Gently setting her to her feet, he turned around to turn off the nozzles and faced the brunette again. "Y'sure we need that kit? That was fucking _great_!"

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Hinata stood on her tiptoes and breathed sexily in the blond's ear. "And the commercial said the kit's supposed to make it better. Just _imagine_…"

Naruto could've sworn his heart was thrashing painfully against his ribs. That's how much his girlfriend's words affected him. Sex even _better_ than what they just experienced? His imagination was a whirlwind of explicit images of the two of them engaging in the most intense coital activities. His breath quickened and his lungs felt heavy. His soft length was already semi-hard at the mere thought of enhancing their sex life.

Looking down at his nearly erected dick, Naruto looked at Hinata and said, "Look what you're doing to me, Love. I didn't know you could be so bad."

"I think you're starting to influence me," she grinned in response. Giving him a light kiss, Hinata told him, "And no. We can't do it again. We both have to leave. I have to train with Hanabi today and you have to report to work at the Hokage Mansion."

"Fine," Naruto pouted lightheartedly. He opened the shower door and allowed Hinata to exit first. Following behind her, he towel dried both of their bodies. When Hinata turned to leave the bathroom, he playfully smacked her bare bottom, eliciting yelp and fits of giggles from his girlfriend.

* * *

_Later that afternoon_; _Hyuga Manor_…

"You've gotten much stronger, sister." Hanabi complimented Hinata after their training session. Together they sat outside in the Hyuga manor courtyard sharing tea and cinnamon buns.

Hinata nodded graciously to her younger sibling. "Thank you, Hanabi. And you're getting stronger, too. You'll be a great clan leader."

"Yeah I know," the brown-haired Hyuga arrogantly bragged, grinning malevolently at Hinata's frown. Hanabi continued her banter. "And I can still whoop ya if I wanted to."

"_Hmpf_!" Hinata turned away from her sister and lifted her nose in the air. "You shouldn't say such things, Hanabi."

Setting down her empty tea cup, Hanabi changed the subject. "All jokes aside, I have a question to ask you, sister."

Feeling apprehensive, yet curious about what was on Hanabi's mind, Hinata simply nodded as she bit her cinnamon bun. "Ok. Tell me."

"I wanna know… are you and Naruto having sex?"

Hinata's lavender eyes rounded and she choked on her bit of cinnamon bun. Beating her fist against her chest, she swallowed the pastry before crying out, "Why would you ask something like that?"

"Well… I was talking with Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon and they believe the two of you are. But I bet fifty that you weren't. I mean, you're just not the sexual type. You like to hold hands, and kiss, and frolic in the fields. You're well…" Hanabi placed a finger against her chin and thought seriously about her next words, all the while not realizing Hinata's ashen expression. "You're… how can I put this nicely." Her finger pointed in the air when the adjective came to her. "You're _dorky_. That's it! You're really, really _dorky_! And dorks don't have sex, do they? I mean, they're pretty lame people, right?"

Hinata's ashen face turned blue whether from the gall of Hanabi's question or mortification from her sister's assessment of her. Either way the brunette didn't know how to process what Hanabi just revealed. On one hand: Hanabi's summary of her personality will help keep the private affairs of her relationship private. No one would believe the truth even if she told them—which she wouldn't because it was nobody's business. On the other hand: it sucked to hear Hanabi casually refer to her as a 'dork' and 'lame'. She thought she was pretty cool. After all, Naruto told her all the time just how amazing she was and she believed him. Unless Hanabi believed Naruto to be equally 'dorky' and 'lame' too.

"And Naruto's a bigger dork than you!"

And there was Hinata's confirmation.

Hanabi continued without a hitch. "Granted he's a lot more fun to be around. And sure he saved the village and all, but that doesn't mean he isn't a dork, too." Biting into another cinnamon bun and swallowing, she asked again, "So, are the two of you having sex? Because I _really_ need the money."

Setting her tea mug on the tray, Hinata balled her hands into fists at her sides and replied tightly, "What Naruto and I do is no one's concern."

"Ohmigod! You're still a virgin! I _knew_ it!" Hanabi cheerfully yelled as she stood to give a victory dance, dropping her cinnamon bun mid-dance. "Team Ebisu owes me fifty big ones! Thanks sis, you're the best! I can always count on you!" Hanabi gave Hinata a quick kiss on top of her head before heading back inside the manor. Sliding the thin door open before entering, the brown-haired Hyuga told her sister, "I'll even give you half of my winnings as a treat!" And she disappeared.

Hinata's body remained still, overlooking the spacious compound of her home. Her lips pressed in a thin line and her fists remained balled at her sides. Her only thoughts were: _My virginity is only worth fifty_? _And I only get _half_ of that_?

* * *

_Two days later_; _Naruto's apartment_…

Removing the dark shades and fake, white beard from his face with one hand, Naruto giddily cradled the package against his chest with the other. He received it from the deliveryman a few moments ago, opting to wear a disguise so the deliveryman wouldn't recognize him. The package was bleak; a plain black box with no return address to reveal it was from Makeout Paradise. He chuckled as he looked at Kakashi's name on the box.

Setting the box on the coffee table, Naruto sat down on his sofa and quickly opened it, revealing the inside contents. True to what the commercial said, therein lied everything that was stated. Drooling at his thoughts of how he was planning to use these items with his girlfriend, the blond's wild imagination began to whir. His creative instinct kicked in as he flipped through the pages of the instruction booklet, blushing at the vivid, high-definition pictures of the couples in erotic poses and positions.

_Hinata's gonna get a kick outta this when we use this_! He thought mischievously. _Tonight we're _so_ gonna do it_!

* * *

_Later that evening_; _Konoha's Karaoke Bar_…

Naruto clumsily slurred, "We sex again in the mornin', yo' breasteses is my breakfast, we goin' in!"

"We be all night… _**lo**_-_**o**_-_**o**_-_**ove**_…!" Hinata drunkenly screeched into her microphone jovially as she danced off-beat to the hit song.

All of their friends watched as Hinata and Naruto butchered their karaoke song of the night in inebriated effervescence. Hinata held a wine glass in one hand and a microphone in the other. Her incoherent singing made her friends laugh as Ino took video footage on her phone.

Unsuccessfully Naruto tried to grind behind his girlfriend, who shied away from him. "_Naruto_-_o_-_o_…" she swatted him away with the hand holding her wine glass, spilling some of the wine on the stage.

Hinata's pearlescent eyes were glazed from the plum wine she sipped and her cheeks were tinged pink. She swayed from side-to-side, using Naruto's chest as support while continuing to—disastrously—sing.

"**Boo**! **Get off the stage**!" Kiba's voice was heard loud and clear in the audience, which made everyone laugh harder.

Once their set was finished, Naruto helped Hinata descend the few steps from the stage so she wouldn't topple. Approaching their table and sitting down, the couple heard Ino say, "I can't _wait_ to upload this on ! It's gonna go viral!" before saving the footage and pocketing the phone. "You two will be internet celebrities!"

"You two were amazing!" Tenten complimented the couple.

"Pfft! Yeah. Amazingly _bad_!" Sakura joked, which caused everyone at their table to laugh again.

After swallowing the contents of his drink, Choji asked, "Which do you think was worst? Hinata's singing or Naruto's rapping?"

"The rapping."

"Definitely the rapping."

"Naruto can't rap."

"He sucks."

Many scattered voices agreed in unison about the hero's lack of rapping talent.

"Aw, c'mon guys! I wasn't that bad, was I Hinata?" The blond faced his girlfriend who shook her head and gave him a drunken smile.

Leaning against him, she admitted, "You were worse."

The chortles continued to reverberate around their table until Kiba decided to change the subject. "So Naruto?"

"Yeah? What's up, Kiba?"

"We have a collection pot going around about your sex life and right now it's at five-hundred." The tattooed brunette mischievously grinned at the shocked couple sitting across from him. "Everyone's betting when you guys will lose your virginity. Whenever someone loses, they have to submit twenty into the pot. The winner of course, will collect the entire pot."

"I predicted you guys will lose your virginity on your wedding night." Sakura raised her hand and volunteered.

"I said you guys already did the do the night you defeated that white-haired creep." The voice belonged to Choji.

Lighting a cigarette, Shikamaru took a few puffs before admitting, "I'm pretty sure you've been sexing each other for a short while. Probably about a month or so."

"And I agree with Shikamaru," Ino stated.

"And Kiba and I believe the two of you are going to die as virgins." Tenten confessed with a smile.

Naruto's face ashen with disbelief while Hinata merely giggled, no longer offended or humiliated about people worrying about her sex life.

"It's funny you say that because two days ago when Hanabi and I finished training…" Hinata told all of her friends about Hanabi's wager with Team Ebisu and how her sister won fifty from her friends. She kept the part about receiving twenty-five of Hanabi's winnings a secret.

"_Really_? _Damn_!" Ino slapped her palm on the table and looked at Shikamaru saying, "We lost! There goes our five-hundred Shikamaru!" before reaching in her bra to hand Kiba a twenty.

Mushing his cigarette in the glass ashtray, the shadow ninja sucked his teeth and muttered, "Troublesome," as he reached for his wallet to give Kiba his twenty.

Choji did the same as he passed his twenty to Kiba.

"_Cha_! We're still in this guys!" Sakura gave hi-fives to Tenten and Kiba.

Laughing at Naruto's tomato-red face, Kiba continued to taunt him. "Now the pot's at five-hundred and sixty. So tell us? Are the two of you ever planning on having sex? Or are you going to live to be the world's oldest, wrinkly, prune-skinned virgins? Because Tenten and I could _really_ use this money. So just tell us now."

"_Kiba_…!" Tenten emphasized his name from across the table where she sat. "I can't imagine Naruto and Hinata having sex. They too…" she snapped her fingers trying to conjure up a word to describe her friends. Looking at her friends, she pleaded, "Help me out guys."

"Weird?"

"Cute?"

"Troublesome?"

"Lame?"

"Dorky?"

"_Dorky_!" they all yelled simultaneously. "_Dorky_!"

Facing the surprised couple, Tenten finished her sentence. "Yes, dorky! You two are a-dork-able! A couple of dorks! So I can't really imagine you guys having sex." Placing both of her elbows on the table to support her chin in her palms, the weapons master leaned close to Hinata and lowered her voice. "C'mon and tell us. If you tell us the truth, Kiba and I will give you a percentage of the winnings."

"Hey! That wasn't part of the agreement!" Kiba screeched at the woman.

Slamming her hand on the table, Tenten shushed the boisterous dog-breeder. "Hush! How else am I supposed to get them to admit the truth?"

Sucking his teeth at the conversation about his and Hinata's sex life, Naruto calmly told his friends, "You all know I can easily kill you using only my finger, right?"

"Aw… c'mon. Don't be that way," Ino cajoled the blond. "You love us."

"Yeah, like I love jock itch," Naruto dryly replied. Standing from his chair, he linked his fingers with Hinata's to help her stand. "We're headed home."

"Obviously to _not_ fuck," Kiba mocked the blond.

Erecting his middle finger at the dog-owner, Naruto spat, "Fuck you, Kiba!"

Determined to get the last word in, Kiba hollered back, "No! Fuck Hinata!"

"Bye guys," Hinata cheerfully waved at her friends, used to the banter between her boyfriend and teammate. "We'll see you later."

Once the young couple left, Choji asked the group, "Do you think Naruto's mad at us?"

"_Nah_," Sakura dismissed Choji's concern with a wave of her hand. "Naruto doesn't hold grudges. Embarrassed? Yes. Upset? No."

There was a pregnant silence at the table before all the friends erupted into bouts of laughter.

* * *

_Later that night_; _Naruto's living room_…

Hinata struggled against the silk bind that trapped her arms behind her back. Her vision was obscured because of the blindfold and the loss of sight and usage of her arms prickled her skin with gooseflesh. She was aroused; nervous, yet aroused. She stood naked in Naruto's living room with her legs inches apart, blindfolded and with her arms tied behind her back.

The feeling of the soft feather caressing along her skin, circling over her nipples made little cute passionate gasps escape her lips. She stumbled over her words, fighting to control her speech amidst the pleasure she was feeling. "W-Why couldn't I be the one to t-tie _you_ up, N-Naruto…?"

Naruto's eyes darkened blue-black with excitement as he stroked her breasts with the large, pink feather from the kit. The sight of his seemingly innocent girlfriend bound and blindfolded made his dick involuntarily jerk.

His living room was dark save for the moonlight and light from the streetlamps sifting through his curtains. Hinata's form took on an ethereal appearance and he found her to be oh so incredibly sexy. Naruto watched as she continued to fight against the satin scarf keeping her arms secured. Of course they both knew she could free herself from them with little effort, but that would ruin the fun.

Ignoring her question, Naruto set aside the feather and reached for the whipped cream. Shaking the contents in the can, he opened it and squirted some in the palm of his left hand.

The sound of the whipped cream whizzing out of the nozzle made Hinata's ears perk up. She asked, "What was that sound, Naruto?"

He still ignored her while setting the can on the coffee table next to the kit. Using his left palm as a palette, he dipped his right index finger in the whipped cream and drew the characters of their names against the skin of her thighs until the cream was completely used.

He kneeled before her and slowly, languidly traced the tip of his tongue along the first character of her name against her upper thigh, tasting the sweetness of the whipped cream. Naruto felt Hinata's thighs quiver underneath his wet muscle and her deep, guttural groan filled the air.

He licked the creamy confection free from both of her thighs. Naruto gave Hinata one final look before whispering, "It's time to eat."

"_Mmm_!" Her erotic cry was muffled because her teeth sank deeper in her plump, bottom lip. "_Almost_…" she whispered, freeing her bruised lip from the hold her teeth had on it. "Naruto, _please_? _Hurry_."

Naruto knew her orgasm was merely moments away.

"**NARUTO**!" Hinata cried out. Her upper body folded over, but his hold on her hips kept her from falling to the floor. Panting heavily, she whimpered, "Oh, Naruto. You have to stop. I-I can't take it anymore."

Licking her one final time, he stood and removed the blindfold and scarf from her body. Picking his girlfriend up bridal style, Naruto grinned at her flushed face and jokingly asked, "What do you think our friends would say if they saw us now, Love?"

Wounding her arms around his neck to hold tight against him, Hinata replied with a chuckle, "Well I don't think they would call us 'dorks' anymore."

Laughing, Naruto padded towards his room and said, "Let's finish this in the bedroom."

* * *

That completes Part One. Originally this was supposed to be a one-shot, but it became too long. So I'm breaking it up into two parts. My back hurts from sitting in the same position for **hours**, my stomach aches because I ate too much, and I'm having menstrual cramps. So I need my rest.

I hope you enjoyed what I've written so far. Leave a comment/review. Till next time!


	2. II

Sorry guys! I'm back and I'm in a better place than when I initially uploaded this chapter. I got a much-needed kick in my ass that got me out of my funk. The semester's officially over so I can focus more on writing and becoming a better writer. I even changed my major from Art to English. So sorry haters, but I'm not going anywhere! I'm going to keep writing! Not much smut in this chapter. This is the conclusion so I didn't think it was necessary.

Look, I can't help it if people in this fandom dislike me for my stories and want to compare me to more favorable NH authors. I'm just me. Don't like my stories, don't read them. Have a problem with **NaruHina Smut Month**? Don't participate. But trying to silence me and ban NHSM is a waste of your time. I'll stop when **I** feel like it. My writing style is **my** writing style, and I refuse to conform to anyone else's standards.

* * *

Hinata: Naruto, we're so pure. When we make love, we don't even need sex. It's much too vulgar for us.

Naruto: Oh, Hinata. I would never consider having sex with you. I'm fine with just cuddling. We can just hold each other. It's all we need.

_*more strange elevator music plays in the background_, _they reach for each other's heads leaning closer to kiss_…_*_

Together: Nah. We're too innocent for that.

_*together the couple walks towards the sunset hand-in-hand*_

The end.

* * *

_The following night_; _Naruto's bed_…

"_Ugh_! Fuck, Hinata! You're so _tight_!" Naruto's yellow eyes and horizontal pupils focused intently on his heavenly, curvaceous woman bouncing on his dick steadily. His wrists were tied to his headboard with the scarf from the Makeout Paradise kit, but the Sage energy that cloaked the both of them was gradually disintegrating the fabric. And he couldn't wait until he was free so he could grab her hips and push her body down on his to fuck her ceaselessly.

Hinata's lilac eyes were closed and her hands gripped the muscle above her boyfriend's knees to balance herself over his hips. She changed her rhythm at differing intervals; going from rotating motions to thrusting her hips back and forth. Tonight she insisted she take the lead and Naruto was all too-willing only under one condition: she had to agree to ride him in Sage Mode.

The thickness of his girth filled her core achingly, but pleasurably and Hinata's thighs quavered in response. Her fluid splashed over their thighs and guttural moans filled the air between the two lovers. "N-Naruto… this… it's so _good_! It feels so _good_!"

Hinata opened her eyes and looked down at him, grinning lasciviously as she moved her hands from his legs to clutch his shoulders. Leaning forward, she nipped his chin and whispered, "Do you feel me, Naruto? Do you like how I feel around you?"

Naruto's only response was a powerful, upward thrust into her, which made Hinata squeak instantaneously.

Sagaciously grinning at his girlfriend, Naruto tugged a bit more at the scarf that kept his wrists bound to his headboard. Obviously he could effortlessly tear through the fabric, but tonight Hinata's in control and he didn't want to ruin the mood by setting himself free.

Righting herself again, Hinata reached in between her legs to feverishly rub herself, rapidly massaging her clit in between her forefinger and thumb. Her wet muscles grasped his dick, squeezing his length and her passionate moans became louder.

Her body shook, vibrating above his body and she nibbled her lower lip to conceal her erotic sighs. Hinata's motions became faster, more enthusiastic the closer her climax approached. "Naruto! Oh Naruto!" Her cheeks tinged pink, face rosy with lust as her hips moved hastily.

Naruto's sac constricted as his seed erupted deep inside Hinata's womb. His golden eyes traveled from her ecstasy-induced face, down to her voluptuous, bouncing breasts to settle on her belly. There. It was faint but he noticed it and the realization made him grin with pride.

Hinata slammed down on Naruto's hips one final time as her body shook while her orgasm swept over her. Her Kegal muscles sucked his dick, milking his seed from his length, deep inside her.

Uncontrollably shuddering, the brunette collapsed on top of her boyfriend, peppering his neck with gentle kisses as she recovered from her orgasm. Gasping for air, she breathed, "Th-that was _amazing_, Naruto! My body won't stop shaking."

Breaking free of the scarf, Naruto's Sage energy vanished and he circled his arms around Hinata's back. Kissing her sweaty forehead, he agreed. "Oh yeah, Love. We need to do it while I'm in Sage Mode more often. The way you felt around me? Oh _man_! You were so… so _tight_! You way you kept _squeezing_ me! I couldn't handle it, y'know?"

Snuggling deeper against his body, Hinata softly spoke. "I think I need to take control more often." Lifting her head to look into his blue eyes, she asked, "What do you think about that, Naruto?"

Sexily grinning at the brunette, Naruto played with the strands of her hair and said, "I think I can make that happen."

* * *

_Hours later_; _Naruto's bed_…

Hinata cuddled against Naruto's pillow with a gentle smile stretching her face; inhaling the soothing aroma of his natural scent. She listened humorously while her boyfriend told the Makeout Paradise operator he wasn't satisfied with the standard kit and demanded the King Size kit as a replacement.

The operator assured Naruto they would replace the standard kit but he would have to pay the difference for the King Size kit if he wanted to exchange it. Grumbling irritably, the blond agreed reluctantly and gave his credit card information.

Disconnecting the call, he sat on the edge of his bed and placed his cell phone on the nightstand. Looking at his grinning girlfriend, Naruto stroked her hair and said, "They told me the new kit will be here in about a week."

Smiling broadly at him, Hinata told him, "I can't wait. We had a lot of fun with the last one."

"Yeah," he agreed as his hand traveled from her hair down to her upper arm where he massaged the soft muscle. "But it's too bad we used up the whipped cream and broke the scarf."

Chuckling behind her palm, Hinata grinned, "Yes, but we can still enjoy ourselves until it gets here." Lifting the covers from her naked body, she exposed herself to him and silently took pride when Naruto's eyes widened and he salivated at the sight.

His hand slid from her arms to fondle one of her breasts. Leaning down, he smirked and said, "Oh, yeah" before taking a nipple past his lips.

* * *

_One week later_; _evening time_; _Naruto's bed_…

"Naruto! I can't watch this! This is too much!" Hinata covered her eyes, shielding them from the erotic visions playing across his television screen. The King Size Makeout Paradise kit arrived and her boyfriend insisted they watch the video while lying in bed. Why did she agree, she'll never know.

"Aw, c'mon, Love. This is great stuff." Naruto closed his fingers around her wrists and pulled them away from her face. "This video'll give us more ideas. We had a lot of fun with the last kit, remember?"

She'll never forget last week. It was awesome, totally awesome. And fun, definitely fun. And yes, she wanted to do it again. But watching porn with her boyfriend? That was a bit much.

**Turn me upside down**, **baby**! **Oh yes**! **That's it baby**!

"Upside down?" Hinata parroted with wide eyes now locked on the television screen.

Grinning deviously, Naruto confirmed, "Yeah, Love. Upside down. You wanna try it," he asked with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows.

**Ahhhhh**…!

Listening to the woman's erotic screams blaring from the television kindled the brunette's arousal and curiosity. Her lavender eyes continued to focus on the gravity-defying position and the look of sheer euphoria on the actress' face. Hinata's wetness moistened the orange sheets.

Giving the blond a naughty smile, Hinata told him, "We can try it—"

Naruto quickly tackled her underneath him.

"—but only if _I_ get to turn _you_ upside down."

Above her, Naruto gave Hinata the goofy, boyish grin he knew she loved as he contemplated the idea of her dominating their lovemaking again. "Sure, Love. If you can handle it, that is. Y'know?"

Narrowing her eyes at her lover, the brunette wondered aloud, "Is that a challenge?"

"Are you up for it?" he asked with his brow raised.

Pushing her boyfriend away, Hinata kneeled on the bed and with her hands on her hips, she said, "Get ready to assume the position."

**It feels so go**-**o**-**o**-**od**…!

* * *

_The following week_; _late afternoon_; _Hokage Mansion_…

"Lord Sixth has summoned you, Mister Uzumaki," one of the helpers approached him with the message. "I will escort you to his office."

Naruto exhaled a sigh of relief, glad for the respite from the menial paperwork he was doing in his cubicle. "Sure. I'm on my way." The village's hero followed the helper out of the cubicle and to Kakashi's door. Opening it for him to enter, the helper shut it and walked away.

Standing in front of the Hokage desk, Naruto grinned at his old sensei and greeted him merrily. "What's up, Kakashi? What's going on? Why'd you summon me?"

Perusing over the paper in his hands, the Sixth Hokage lowered it to face his former student. "Naruto. Please sit down."

Shrugging nonchalantly, Naruto did as told and patiently waited for the Hokage to continue.

"I received some disturbing information early this morning." Sliding the paper across the desk for Naruto to read, Kakashi carried on. "Two transactions from Makeout Paradise were charged to the mansion's credit card. You know anything about that, Naruto?

Gulping nervously as beads of sweat peppered his forehead, Naruto looked from the paper with the proof of purchases to the Hokage sitting in front of him. "Um… no Kakashi. Why do you ask?"

"Oh I don't know…" Kakashi fingered his chin covered by his mask and kept his dark eyes on the anxious blue gaze of his Hokage apprentice. "There were two packages delivered with my name as the beneficiary." Sharpening his stare on Naruto, Kakashi noted the look of uneasiness on his face and knew he was guilty. "Are you _sure_ you don't know anything about that…? _Naruto_…?"

"Um… I… I… don't…" Naruto clenched the arms of the chair to keep from releasing the hot air underneath the collar of his shirt. He knew he looked guilty, but he was going to stand his ground anyway. "Why are you asking me this, Kakashi? Why would you think I know anything about it?"

Cutting his eyes at his apprentice, the Sixth Hokage said, "The packages were delivered to _your_ address, Naruto."

_Oh_, _shit_! _**Busted**_! Naruto internally screamed. His pupils dilated and he chewed his lower lip, formulating a plan to escape the Hokage office.

"Now, care to explain why you were spending the mansion's funds on merchandise from Makeout Paradise? And using _my_ name?" the Hokage demanded.

"Um… no… not really," the young adult slowly replied before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Standing from his seat, Kakashi looked around his office but there was no trace of the abhorrent blond. "**Damn you**, **Naruto**!" he pounded his fists on the wooden surface and yelled.

* * *

_Later that night_; _Naruto's bed_…

"Kakashi doesn't want to kill you, Naruto," Hinata assured her boyfriend as she cuddled next to him. She traced the outline of his Eight Sign Seal along the circumference of his belly. "He wants to beat you to a bloody pulp, but not kill you."

"_Tch_!" Naruto rolled his eyes and massaged her upper arm. "Kakashi _really_ wanna kill me."

"You have to return to work eventually. It's not like you can avoid him."

"And it's not like I can tell him the truth, either." Ceasing his massage, Naruto looked at her with a frown furrowing his blond brows. "Y'know? This is all your fault, Hinata!"

Lifting her body by her arms, the brunette rested her elbow in the pillow to cradle her chin in her palm and returned her boyfriend's frown with one of her own. "_My fault_? How is this _my fault_?"

Determined to make his point, Naruto bore his blue eyes into his girlfriend's pale, lavender ones. "Because! If you hadn't suggested I give the operator a false name, I wouldn't be in trouble with Kakashi!"

Leaning back against the pillow, Hinata's eyes filled with tears as she cackled at the blond's statement. She cradled her belly, trying to ebb the ache she felt from her painful laughs. Naruto deeply frowned at her and his jaw set, hardened in anger.

Stifling her chuckles, Hinata told him, "I never said to use the Sixth's name. And I told you if he found out you'd be in trouble. And even if you used your name, Kakashi still would've found out."

Naruto's face scrunched while he tried to make sense of what Hinata was saying. "How so?"

"Because silly," she playfully slapped his Eight Sign Seal as she spoke. "One: the packages were delivered to your address which could still be traced back to, two: your usage of the mansion's credit card."

An embarrassed blush flushed over his countenance as he digested his girlfriend's words. They made sense, but he really didn't want to admit it. Instead he nuzzled her neck, tickling her sensitive flesh with nibbles and kisses.

Hovering above her to tenderly look into her eyes, Naruto fingered the thick strands of her jet-black hair and told her earnestly, "Let's get married, Hinata."

Many emotions overwhelmed the brunette and she couldn't control the tears of happiness that spilled from her eyes. Wiping the moisture from them, she looked up at him and breathed softly, "It's… It's really sudden, Naruto. Do you really mean that?"

Giving her a kiss filled with promises of their future together, Naruto separated their lips and answered her honestly. "Yeah I'm serious, Hinata. I love you, girl. And someday you're gonna have my children. So why wait?"

"Oh Naruto! Of course I'd love to be your wife!" Circling her arms around his neck, Hinata pulled him to her to passionately kiss her _fiancé_ again.

Together the young couple made love tenderly, carefully and slowly. And what Naruto didn't tell Hinata but was planning to soon, she's carrying his child of two weeks. Although it was sudden for one to tell whether a woman was pregnant, his Sage energy allowed him to sense the faint chakra of his unborn child the night she rode him into oblivion.

Naruto knew the moment he realized his feelings for Hinata he wanted to create a family with her. And together they already have.

* * *

_Three weeks later_; _Naruto's apartment_…

"Ino you knew and you didn't tell us?" Tenten faced her blonde friend with an astonished look furrowing her countenance.

Sipping sake from a wine glass, Ino nonchalantly shrugged and replied with a grin. "Tenten you know I'm under oath. I have to keep my patients' information confidential. And _trust me_, I _really_ wanted to tell you guys but I could never betray Hinata like that."

Shortly after Naruto's proposal, he revealed the news of Hinata's pregnancy to his fiancée. Overwhelmed with emotion, the brunette never doubted what Naruto told her. Always the mischief-maker and prankster, she knew he would never joke with her about something so dire. Even though she trusted him unquestionably, Hinata believed they needed a second opinion from medical professionals.

Seeking out Ino who worked with children at the Konoha Hospital, Ino eagerly agreed to give Hinata a pregnancy test and confirmed that the young couple was expecting their first child. Ino also discussed with Naruto being a midwife for Hinata and the newly engaged couple agreed without hesitation. It was also during the hospital visit, Naruto and Hinata let Ino know they were engaged and Ino told them she would plan an engagement party for all of their friends to attend.

"Hey Ino," Naruto scowled at his friend as he rubbed Hinata's arm. They sat on his loveseat while he sipped beer out of the bottle and Hinata indulged herself with cinnamon rolls and tea. "What about betraying _my_ trust?"

"Oh, hi Naruto! I didn't notice you sitting there!" Ino joked which only caused Naruto's scowl to deepen.

"Let's get right down to business!" Kiba interrupted the blondes and retrieved a thick envelope from his coat pocket. Slamming the envelope on the coffee table, he grinned as he looked around at everyone in attendance and said, "I'm gonna address the elephant in the room. Who should inherit the pot? It's at six-hundred and twenty."

Rubbing her temples in annoyance, Hinata rolled her eyes and muttered, "Not this again."

"Look, give it a rest, Kiba! You're upsetting Hinata." Naruto pulled his fiancée closer to his side and chastised their tattooed friend.

Reaching for the envelope, Sakura proclaimed, "I should get the pot! I was the closest!"

"Actually," Shikamaru grabbed the envelope before the strawberry-blonde could grasp it and told everyone, "Team Ten should split the pot. Me, Choji and Ino's predictions were a lot more accurate than any of yours. So we should get the money."

Extending his arm in the air to raise his glass, Choji shouted, "I'll drink to that!" before gulping the alcohol.

"Hell yeah!" Ino pumped her fist and took another sip of her sake.

"Love? Are they even listening to me?" Naruto looked at his fiancée and asked.

Resting her head comfortably on his shoulder, Hinata answered his question with a giggle. "Do they ever?"

"Tch!" Naruto's blue eyes rolled before he sourly mumbled, "Even in my own home I get no respect."

Tugging the envelope from Shikamaru's hand, Sakura growled at the shadow ninja, "_Cha_! You were wrong, so you, Choji and Piggy shouldn't get anything!"

Scoffing at Sakura's insult, Ino barked, "Who're you calling 'Piggy' Forehead? In case you forgot, you were wrong, too!"

"Essentially each and every one of you was wrong," Shino, who was silent until this exact moment decided to intercede on the conversation. "So logically none of you should receive the money. Why? Because _all_ of you lost the bet."

"Oh yeah!" Tenten frowned at their friend whose eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses. Placing her hands on her hips, she questioned the insect handler, "So who should get the money?"

Taking the envelope from Sakura, Shino passed it to his teammate Hinata, who accepted it graciously. "It's only right Hinata and Naruto should get the money. After all, this ridiculous bet only festered because all of you refused to mind your own business. Consider it an engagement gift from everyone."

"Thank you, Shino." Hinata cradled the envelope, smiled and looked around the living room at everyone else. "And thank you all."

"Yeah, Shino! You're the man!" Naruto grinned at the brunet.

"Hey, Shino," Kiba sucked his teeth and addressed his teammate. "If this is your pathetic attempt to guilt-trip us, you failed."

"That's right!" Ino agreed. Setting her empty glass on the coffee table, she reached for the stereo remote and yelled, "Let's get this party started!" before turning on the sound system and blaring music throughout the apartment. She reached for Tenten's hand and together they stood and began dancing.

Sakura soon followed suit by standing on the coffee table to gyrate her hips drunkenly and off-beat.

"_Hey_!" Naruto yelled at all of his friends who soon joined the women to start dancing with them, too. "I said '_hey_'! Turn the fucking music down!" Whether his friends were ignoring him or they couldn't hear him over the loud, rhythmic sounds vibrating from the walls, the blond felt his temper rise and he balled his fists in an attempt to control his anger. "_Dammit_!"

"C'mon." Hinata rose from the loveseat and linked her fingers with Naruto's. After he stood up, she rose on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Let's finish the party in the bedroom. They're clearly not paying us any attention."

Looking down at his fiancée and wiggling his brows teasingly, Naruto grinned and replied, "I like the way you think, Mrs. Uzumaki."

Leading him to his room, Hinata responded with a flirtatious joke of her own. "And you're going to _love_ how I'm going to make you feel, Mr. Uzumaki."

* * *

Leave a comment. Tell me your thoughts. I need to work on _Penance_ and (possibly?) _50 Shades of Lavender_ and _50 Shades of Orange_. I'm not sure if I'm actually going to write them. For now they're just perverted head-canons.


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